Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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