I just threw up on my dentist
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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