the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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