I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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