I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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