Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
