my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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