bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
