Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Randomize
