i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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