okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
