your room smells of hookers.
And success
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
