you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
