it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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