In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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