ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
