My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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