How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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