I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
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