We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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