She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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