is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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