I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Randomize
