I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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