wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
He passed out mid-signature
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
