my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Randomize
