You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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