sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
