Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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