Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
