The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
