fuck your aforementioned shoe
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
