it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
