actually, I'm a sock model
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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