Your tits are I can't wait for
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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