She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
How does it feel to date your dad?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
