can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
