I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
