My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I just want to make out with him forever
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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