Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
