im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
