this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
