so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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