I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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