I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
