Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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