just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
