I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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