Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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