I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
