It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Randomize
