I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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